Have you ever watched an episode of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares? Please do so. You can find them on YouTube. I first watched an episode over Christmas 2021 and instantly wanted to watch another – but I did not know why.
Chef Ramsay turns up at failing restaurants, tastes the food and points out why they are not successful as a business. He swears a lot, is completely rude, and holds back no punches. It is trash TV - or so I thought until I realised why I kept watching more episodes. The show at its heart is a life lesson on how to avoid failure by accepting personal responsibility. Once I realised this, I enjoyed it even more. The fact it revolves around restaurants is immaterial for the lessons are universal.
Each episode follows a certain format with similar problems to solve. These are usually a mixture of poor quality food, poor customer service, obnoxious owners, unprofessional staff, a lack of hygiene, no clear management structure, no passion, and a sense of pending defeat. Gordon comes along and sparks fly as individuals are held accountable which is very painful for them.
The issues addressed are never technical or specialised. Gordon never points out that table clothes should be made of Egyptian cotton, only that they should be clean. He never says that frozen food cannot be used, only that it should not be advertised as fresh. He never complains that a dish is too simplistic, only that is it of poor quality.
The excuses start the second he walks into the restaurant. The owners blame the customers for being picky or uncouth. The chefs blame the owners for poor-quality products or for dictating the menu. Serving staff blame a lack of organisation and not listening to customers. Customers blame the quality of the food. No one ever mentions the dirt, grime and unhygienic practices until Gordon points them out.
The real issue in every restaurant is always a lack of personal responsibility by the owners. All other issues stem from this one problem. No one takes responsibility to ensure the kitchen and dining area are cleaned to an acceptable standard. No one is in charge of quality control as food leaves the kitchen. No one takes responsibility for staff morale or holds failing staff accountable. Owners portray themselves as the victims of the situation. The idea that they are ultimately in charge and responsible never crosses their mind.
Except for a couple of infamous episodes, Gordon manages to turn around the restaurant by getting back to basics and forcing owners to accept responsibility. If the problem is a chef who will not change then the owner has to sack them. If the problem is filth everywhere then the owner has to put in place a cleaning regime. If the problem is a lack of organisation then the owner has to learn to be more organised. If the problem is the poor quality of food then the owner has to stop lying to themselves that the food is wonderful. Absolutely everything comes down to the owners accepting responsibility for everything in their restaurant, for it is their restaurant.
I recommend everyone watch a few episodes on YouTube to see how people resist accepting responsibility and refuse to acknowledge any part in the mess they are in. They blind themselves to reality as a coping strategy. They never self-reflect on their performance as a leader or as a restaurateur – they just continue doing exactly what they have always done. They have a million excuses why it is not their fault but everyone else's. Some lie to Gordon which is caught on camera and then later exposed – lies become normal when you lie to yourself daily.
Denial may be the dish of the day but Gordon tears it apart to expose the rot. It is very painful for the owners to have their comfort blanket ripped from their arms and their inadequacies exposed for the world to see. It is painful to watch for we see ourselves in these failing entrepreneurs - we have all made mistakes and taken no responsibility. The only difference is that we did not have Chef Ramsay coming at us down the tracks. Honesty is always the best policy - we all know this to be true for we tell our children the very same thing.
A painful reality is always better than a painful unreality, at least with reality, you can influence it with action.
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." - George Bernard Shaw
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Retired now, but when I worked we had this concept called 'the reflective practitioner'. After every lecture, tutorial or workshop, one should go through it; what went well, what didn't go so well, what needs changing. Go through this process as soon after the session as possible, write it all down and file it with the notes for the session ready for next time you prepare to give the same talk.
Also, when seeking feedback, never ask for negative criticism it doesn't help you or your audience. Rather ask, three things they liked and three things they would like changed. This is far more likely to elicit constructive comment.